Trouble at work.

Trouble at (out of) work.

2011-12-12T21:45:00.000+07:00

There are three things you should know.
1. I was raised in a cane break by an old mama lion.
2. I seek spiritual transformation through perfecting my work.
3. I really was raised by an old mama lion.

Holding back.

2011-03-20T15:44:00.001+07:00

It's true I am not using my talents at this job and it is a waste, and I am holding back.

Wrens, trees, bee's knees.

2011-01-19T20:06:00.002+07:00

All is still (relatively) fabulous. I had a run of bad luck and my till refused to balance 3 weeks in a row and it was embarrassing and scary but I resisted the temptation to make "amends" (ie. fudge it with my own cash!) or to smooth it over and I'm glad of that because once that begins an employee has lost their high ground, I could swear on the bible that I've never diddled the system and that has a power all of its own. And it's all fine now.

I still love my job.

My other job is getting better and better, I will be taught more (it is agreed!) and will get closer to being a finance person. I want to do this. I know the others (all of them, all of us, in polly) dislike this area, yes, yes, I know, but they are realising now, that if I learn it (as I long to!) they will be forever free of it and it will never come back to bite them, and I really enjoy it, it's not a convenient pretence, I really do, I realised today how truthful my interest is, just how pleasant it was (helped also by the thoughts of the honorarium) to be there, and how lovely it is to make sums of money add up.

If I get these skills in a meaningful way, we'll be ready to manage a business, and if
Sophie or V. or anyone else cares to do the same for IT, the business we manage could be a
telecentre. And if we did that it wouldn't be hard to travel, and we'd be able to exercise all our talents in small towns.

It's not a bad idea, and there are so many opportunities.... just down the road, for example,
to practice on, and the network etc. and then later, if we do master it, maybe higher up,
management. All this stuff is compatible with creativity. These days.

Nothing to report.

2010-06-01T20:17:00.001+07:00

Back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks leave... I am looking forward to checking in with the wrens.

I love my job.

More of the same.

2010-04-30T15:17:00.001+07:00

Rufous treecreepers are still cute.

Work continues uneventful, as I like it.

2010-01-31T20:54:00.003+07:00

You only need to do it once a week, to keep your hand in, and my job is the perfect combination of weekly skills refreshment it feels tailor made for me.

Rufous tree creepers are cute.

Work update.

2009-12-05T18:13:00.000+07:00

Uneventful. Just how I like it.

Weekly check in with the world of work.

2009-11-08T19:53:00.001+07:00

Once a week is enough to remember the fundamentals.

It's like my weekly swim. Enough so the muscles remember.

Constant.

2009-10-04T20:40:00.003+07:00

Work has been the constant relief in all the big changes we've been through.

That job is great, but of course, for me, it's not just the job that is Trouble at work, it's all the things I do to present us to the world in a relatively acceptable way.

Things have been very interesting in relation to United States of Tara and how that has given us an opportunity to come out to so many people. It's been good also to get so much done in terms of taking care of the body, future, well being, house, car, life.

Overall I am pleased.

Professional

2009-07-03T19:35:00.000+07:00

I'm so slick I could do anything, anywhere, anytime.

Wrapped up, again.

2009-05-21T16:26:00.000+07:00

In the perfect black cardigan, I can award myself many gold stars I know how to get jobs done.

It was a great trip away, life's been good. All is well.

Six months wrap up

2009-01-16T15:27:00.003+07:00

Well, the big news for me is I've made a new friend who I just love. His name is Eugene.

Other than that, the other big news is that Just Jo has finally come out of her depression, and I'm also recovering pretty well from the loss of Andrew (k.h) though god damn it I wish you were still here Boodle and I miss you so much and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you at the end.

Work goes along as it should. Which is, nicely. It's the perfect job for us.

Other projects have had mixed results.
My main job these days is organising this lot.
So, things have been good for Calypso with her dancing - two guest teachers, a private lesson and of course WAMED, earlier, which went well.

Things have not been good for Francesca's art but she's still pleased with her last painting and is planning on starting again this term if possible. I need to check schedules.

Things have been good for Mannie. Okay for Thea - highlight being her relationship with Christopher, catching up with old friends and reading some great books.

Dungeon: Sausage, Gruesome, Miranda, Cassandra, Tuppence and (in exile), Precious and Treasure; have all been fine with some promising developments with Precious and Treasure in terms of the life they've been leading with Pia.

Hinchinbrook House have enjoyed the job. Also, along with all of us, they are grateful for the time with family over Christmas. A major moment was the identification of the red capped parrot and snorkeling. All good.

There was a party. In Perth. All good. Shell enjoyed that.

So, life's been sweet.

The next thing on the agenda is ... facilitating Pia's return to the body.
We all know what that means. Progress has been made. This time, I'm going to make it happen. Our new year's resolutions are basically about this.

My other job at the Bugsplat Family Centre is going brilliantly too.

So, all is just fine with that.

Uniform.

2008-07-06T15:54:00.002+07:00

Now I've got my uniform there's no longer an apparent need for work clothes.
When I was the manager of the Bugsplat Visitor Centre I had work clothes and I had clothes that were falling apart. Now I just have clothes that are falling apart.

I need new clothes.

I miss my work clothes.

Dogula.

2008-06-30T13:11:00.001+07:00

Personality types.

2008-06-08T10:58:00.001+07:00

I got them all organised for 24 of us.

It was amazing how accurate it the tests are. And we learnt something about how to help Pia.

It was worth the hours and hours of work.

Trouble

Mental illness is for other people.

2008-06-05T19:45:00.002+07:00

I've been thinking about Liz Spikol and Mad Pride and my buddy Andrew (K.H) who took his own life (to be with the angels or so says his mum) and his mental illness and the mental illness we are diagnosed with. I doubt anybody who interviewed ME (ie. ME, "TRouble") would ever diagnose me with a mental illness. Well, they might but it would be their problem. My mental health has always robust. It's my system mates who have "issues".

We used to be called "Jody" and it suited me seeing as I am kinda half boy half girl. It's a name I feel strange about, glad about, nostalgic. See You Next Wednesday's dad still calls us (me when I'm there) by it and it makes me happy. I am not ashamed of that boy. S/he was a good boy-girl. I consider that past mine. And then came dungeon. And then the mountain, twenty years on.

All three entwined and overlapping.

I am not subtle. I am like my mother. I am trustworthy, strong and brave.

I am not delicate. I am not artistic. I am good with my hands and good with machines.

I know you must have trouble (hah!) recognising me if you know me through us, through Just Jo or Thea or Francis or Angelata or Mannie or Shell (Lowena) or any of them... or just the mix. You could know Viola. My liberator, my queen, the girl soldier I will forever gladly give my life for because she is the one who set me free and I love her forever.

I guess it does get complicated.
My natural tendancy is to be glad to be ordinary, clear, plain, dull, smart but not quick, tidy, strong, calm, tax paying, rubber stamping. I'm organised, methodical. I love money and jam and sweeping and planting and reaping and sowing and the stuff of life. I am materialistic in the way potters are materialistic. I am me. I would so love to be known.

We all would. Being so different and sharing a body and a life and often a name, our reputation and image and personality projected by others is so false and empty and lost to us.

It's only by accident, a stranger might see one of us (alone perhaps in the body) and truly see us and make a remark or pass the time in such a way that makes us remember that we are real.

Perhaps that's the reason we do the job we do. So many strangers to see us.

goodnight.

Let's see...

2008-05-17T18:01:00.002+07:00

now, my job has become managing this lot.

I used to manage the Bugsplat Tourist Bureau now I manage this lot, and work part time.

It's been going okay. It's been a hard year with losing Boodle. He was one of our three best friends. Now we only have two. That's hard. Also, he was wonderful and we miss him and we wish we'd been able to help him. We loved him. Still do.

Other things that have been hard have been the depression. Just Jo gets it bad. It's come hard this year. Being multiple hasn't got any easier and we're frustrated by what sometimes seems to be willful stupidity of people when faced with the relatively simple fact that there are a few people here sharing this body. Truly, what is so fucking hard to understand? What? Do you want me to speak S*L*O*W*L*Y I can do that. Please, get it and/or stop making your difficulty grasping the concept MY problem. It is YOUR cognitive dissonance and I don't have a responsibility to make it all better for you. Also, fuck off.

Yes, that just about covers it. I feel much better now.

Trouble

Work is freedom.

2008-04-15T20:29:00.000+07:00

I know it's a bad association.

Sorry about that.

Back soon.

Tea at tree.

2008-02-19T14:17:00.002+07:00

aka My Clerical Career goes Bung.

I couldn't do it. Dammit. Too much white noise, too much radio static and machines that go bing and unpleasantness and anxiety and everything stank of high school. I don't miss it but I'm glad I got such a graceful exit (to my job at the Tree where I drink tea, deliver impeccable customer service for an average of a minute per time, maybe 50 - 100 times a day, then drink more tea, and scribble in my notebooks, watch the wrens or daydream.

It's a good job for me. Regular pay. The Hinchinbrook girls like the birds and the opportunities for nature-geeking with fellow nature geeks. Just Jo, Mannie and Thea like the letter writing opportunities. I don't mind it. There is a little arithmetic. I like arithmetic. If you want Math or Physics you better ask Viola, but I do like arithmetic. I quite like balancing the cash at the end of the day too.

These small pleasures - and we get paid.

For now, this will do.

Office politics

2007-11-20T14:33:00.000+07:00

Jean de La Bruyère

"We must live with our enemies as if they one day might be our friends, and live with our friends as they might some time or other become our enemies."

One door closes?

2007-11-17T19:20:00.000+07:00

There's some big changes happenning here and they're okay. I'm okay with it.
My role here, at Polly HQ, is changing, and that might change things here in The World, too.
With work.
For a few years now I've been the one driving work, first as a waitress at The Palace, then as Manager of the Bugsplat Visitor Centre, and now, with our two jobs at The Office and The Tree.

Gray has got a lot of really interesting work that he enjoys now, after a long wait, both the kewl jobs have arrived at once and he's working very hard. We're going to be okay financially and it could be a good time for me to slow down work and to think about other work.

Better work.
Maybe I'll focus my working energy towards helping Calypso go forward with her dreams.
There's plenty of room for my skills to be useful to her. She really needs me.
Admittedly she can't pay me anything, given as she shares this body with me, but perhaps she'll earn money for us one day with her dance stuff, or her dance stuff will keep us sane and strong enough for another one of the Castle or Hinchinbrook types to earn money for us. Or to bring Pia back. I am a supporter of dance now, of Calypso's dance. I believe it is going to help us and I want to help Calypso get better as a dancer and teacher and all the rest.

I know that we'll never rest as a system until we resolve things with Pia.
Pia likes us to be strong. Dance helps.

There's a lot about me I never knew. I know what that river is for. If we knew what we truly know we could never discover it. And each time we discover it, it is new. And we get another chance to see it as it truly is. I have theories. A few. About it all. One thing I will say is I think I know that if people had known who I really was then it would have not come as a surprise to anyone that it was me, Trouble, who ended up leading dungeon when Viola's work was done. I've figured that out at last. Only took five years.

I thank god for Dark Personalities.
I'm glad we lived long enough to understand this. I'm glad I'm here to understand this.
I'm glad we have this unique life.
I'm glad to know not just my beloved dungeon, but my new sisters from Castle.
I love them.

Well, that's done, we're doing it, we can do it... but does that mean we should?

2007-10-29T13:57:00.000+07:00

It's taken a while but work is manageable right now. We have pretty much learnt the job well enough now to relax a little tiny bit, though of course we have to work constantly managing our own wholly involuntary (in case you're feeling judgemental, and if you are, piss off) nervous and physical responses to the Non Stop Triggers All Around Us that is our workplace. Constantly conquering our stuff, that's what we're doing all day, engaged in this battle and we are conquering it, so far, so good, but it's all so exhausting and I really am starting to understand why Just Jo had to quit her job. I can't imagine doing this full time. It's just too much.

I've learnt so much about everything - about this life, about Just Jo who was our front for so long, and I've learnt heaps about "The World" and all its jack-in-a-box ways and it's been amazing.

It feel kinda "done" though now. I've done it, sort of. Well, I can see that if I just keep on with it, the way I have been, it will become easier and then I'll be able to add other challenges and hopefully there will be a time when I'll feel a sense of accomplishment or something to make all this stretching meaningful.

I know my own attitude was kind of ruthlessly, relentlessly can-do. It's a paradox isn't it, you've got to be delusional to cope with the kind of challenge this job has been for us. They KNEW that, thus couldn't. I didn't, that's why I could. Francis says "Catch 22". I know the story. And yes, it's a bit like that.

I'm starting to feel angry now, on behalf of all of us, but I'm not angry with anybody in particular, well, maybe with ME, for all the ignorance and judgement and ruthlessness I actually HAD to use to ride through this and to do it. So much effort, so much herculean labour, and for what??? I ask you, is Getting The Mail Report Out on Time truly a meaningful task deserving of this level of striving? Maybe it is, for us.

I know we can manage to do these things, we can if it's life or death, or a moral issue, or we really believe it must be done - we've been able to make the effort in those circumstances. I know that H. girls put everything into H.

I've also realised that my (secret) fantasy of managing this so brilliantly that we'd be able to work full time was a fantasy and is just not possible. Not even with the kind of delusional zealot I became in order to get us working at this job in the first place. It's been hard to accept - I started working as soon as I could, I was out of the dungeon, and as soon as I could hear and speak without drooling in public I was keen to work. I got a job as a waitress. That was such a surprise for all the castle girls (thea, just jo, francis) - they'd never expected that it was just so alien to them. Their idea of a job was always wordy, wordsmithing, talking, speeches - Francis would give guided walks and she did plenty of field work and physical stuff but it was Gentleman of Science type fieldwork, it wasn't Digging a Ditch. Just Jo worked hard teaching, and Thea did a lot of work writing in their old job. Nobody had ever thought of waitressing. And those three wouldn't have been able to remember a table anyway, that was not possible for them. I was only able to do it because I made sure it was just me and Calypso there, me doing the remembering and the coffee making and that side of it, and Calypso smiling (I wasn't that good at smiling still) and making sure my face didn't lapse back into paralysis or my hearing didn't go. (this was early on) They came out a bit, but not when it was busy. I was task-oriented, fully. Then we got the manager job. That was another step. I had a lot of help with that, but it was still me, my will, driving it all. And now we're here, with our current job. It's my will that makes it happen there too. And I'm still okay, but I am understanding now why things happenned in the past as they did, and learning that there's nothing magical about me, I can't will our problems away, I can just work hard, hard, hard to overcome them, but they do affect me too and I get tired too. And I'm pretty tired already. So, we'll just have to see.

Waste of dread.

2007-08-27T22:00:00.000+07:00

Work at the office has been quite challenging, and I've been dreading tomorrow all weekend.
Now I find, that was a waste of dread, as I've just been rostered onto the fieldwork site instead.

I am very happy and relieved about that. It's only a day, but I feel like a fish off the hook.

I'd (once again) very nearly decided to quit my job.

Out of my tree.

2007-08-08T20:42:00.000+07:00

So my salad days are over.
What a weird expression that is. Something to do with the colour green I am told by Thea.
And we are back at the office.
It was pretty horrible but not as bad as it was the first three weeks when we started earlier this year. I think we can do it. Not too much, not too often, but I'm still learning things so that must be good and I'm getting better at it and it's a useful job to have if only to keep my paw in administration. As you know, I'm Trouble. I assume you reading this are probably one of my system. I know we have a kind of unspoken policy of trying to avoid commenting on each other's journals on account of some kind of acute awareness of how totally insane and egocentric such a thing might appear to others - but really girls - that bird has flown.
Brraaaaawk!
I'm feeling good. Really proud of myself for all the fronting I've been doing and all the work I've been doing as a kind of clumsy liaison officer between H. chicks, Angelata (who's probably really a Herring living in exile at the H. house I'm realising) and my sexy fellow. I've also had a really noneventful and totally matter of fact conversation that included the fact that I'm not Calypso and that was good. I like it when it's just part of the conversation and the focus doesn't suddenly shift onto OH MY GOD HOW AMAZING OMG OMG HOW WEIRD HOW BIZARRE etc. That's always such a drag.
This conversation was so satisfyingly ordinary. I loved it. It was with Gray's boss - her fake name was Naomi, but now I have a friend who has that name so I might change her name to Nomi. That will do for her for a while. As long as we know what we're talking about, for a little while at least.

Thumbs up.

2007-07-27T19:55:00.000+07:00

All is very well.

It's excellent to be back. Our routines are slowly returning to normal. Dance class three times a week (teaching), and studying dance one night a week. Art class is back (for a little while). There's also Tai Chi on Sunday, and the bus to Bigsplat pool for laps on those Thursdays we're not working. Work is also back, and not yet hideous although that may change once we return to the office. I don't even have to do much myself at work lately - it's all stuff all the Nature Geeks can do. Yay! I just drink tea and fill in the forms. Oh, and I handle the money. But they do all the chatting about trees, birds etc. that needs to be done. This is what we were hoping for.
Unfortunately the people who own the job will return from their holiday at some point, but I won't worry about that now. Perhaps they'll fall in love with someone and never come home.
Err. It happens.

Sorry about that. Not that I was there. I was still locked in the dungeon at that stage. Now I am free and reluctant to regret anything that might have led to this wonderful state (freedom).

I digress. All is very well. I hope all is well with you too.

Nature geeking for fun and profit.

2007-07-23T19:59:00.000+07:00

There are people here (not me, well, not yet) who know stuff about birds and trees.
They love our new job. Also, we are away from coworkers (a plus, I agree) and in the forest (cold, and a bit spooky, but okaaay) and I did enjoy writing a letter to my buddy.

So, things are looking up at work.
I was pretty much ready to quit on account of all the office politics but now it's just me and the wrens. Oh, and the white-naped honeyeaters. Fascinating thing about white-naped honeyeaters - apparently over here they lack the distinctive red eye skin of their cousins over east.

Yes, I can see you're excited too.

The hug in the airport.

2007-05-22T21:21:00.000+07:00

I've been doing a lot of driving home, thinking. People in my head, people who used to think this life was their life, people who were here more than they are now, now I am here, talk to me a lot when we drive home from work. I sometimes remember moments in their lives, moments I was present for, just briefly, for some reason or another. I even remember their loves sometimes. I don't remember it as if I'm the girl though, I remember it as if I'm watching the girl and the boy. I was always a spectator, and what I remember is watching like I was watching a movie. Now they are not together, the people in the movie, and perhaps I am the person who remembers the most about their love, I'm the person for whom the love is most constant. I remember it so clearly. I remember scenes. And I remember the hug in the airport.

They say I am like the woman at work. I can see that. Easily. I am very like her. Of course nobody would think that, nobody would see that, but they see it because they see me as I truly am. I wonder who she is truly like?

Trouble.

Not me, my buddy Toffer.

2007-04-22T11:50:00.001+07:00

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I am...

2007-04-07T22:06:00.000+07:00

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Keeping the books.

2007-03-22T21:41:00.000+07:00

I've been very well. I'm not really missing work much.
I like being the money person for the Bugsplat Food Coop.
That's been good.
Lots of numbers, lots of figures, lots of sums.

I like accounting a lot.

I've been watching a lot of battle star galactica and driving Calypso around a fair bit too.

All good.

Also making inventory of all of Calypso's bead collection, belly dance material and art supplies and tidying that great big mess up. I like imposing order.

I'm happy.

Trouble.

See vee.

2007-03-12T12:48:00.000+07:00

We applied for a job - got it in on Friday.
It's an okay looking job in Littlesplat.

We did some volunteer work at the Bugsplat Food Coop on Friday too, after a morning of shopping in Bigsplat. Then it was the IWD night and Roz's new song, then Nadia and various people of us (thea, just jo, shell, calypso, mannie) went to Storm Point to stay in a cottage and swam in the evening and in the morning and Calypso made Nadia new earrings and greatly appreciated the order I have imposed on her bead collection.

I've been doing a lot of that - imposing order.
There's not much left to sort now. I've done all our clothes, belly dance gear, jewellry, beads, writing, camping gear, art supplies.
There's just photographs and letters - I have made a start on them, and they don't need much more work. The next thing to do with them would be to put the photographs in albums and to pack up the letters/cards into some kind of grouping. Other than that, I've exhausted the possibilities. I could finish the belly dance inventory. I guess. There's still a suitcase of that, and a bag to go. It's all bagged and labelled, but I haven't actually typed up the inventory for anything other than the teaching collection.
I'm trying to be useful. I'm trying to be sensitive about it and not just bulldoze stuff. It's going okay. Sometimes I miss my job.
Life is okay.
I keep making plans and following them.
Sometimes I wonder if that's enough.
You?

My farewell.

2007-02-17T20:01:00.000+07:00

My farewell was fantastic. My boss gave a great speech about me. Also there were lots of people and some great food and a really brilliant present (cheese, jam, sauce, relish hamper) and it was just altogether fabulous.

I'm so glad we went.

In other news, Zil has apologised profusely. That's all fine now. In other news, bellydancing is going so extremely well! Calypso is happy. I am trying to organise grant money for her too.

And tomorrow is the first of the Bugsplat Life Drawing Group! Noel is the model. So that should keep Ms Calypso happy. She got her art education as a life model, and it was a good one. Now she's (dum DAH) on the other side of the canvas.

In other news, Roz wrote a song!!!

So, things are going rather well.

Trouble.

"You can only do this once"

2007-02-12T21:30:00.000+07:00

... says the blogger dashboard. Well then, here I am, and maybe next time it won't be so easy for me to get here. I'm sure it's not difficult as such, but we don't like new things. There's so many of us, see, so (tangent warning) it's important that the scissors have A PLACE TO LIVE, see, so that when one of the 12 or so people here who regularly walk around in this body can find them.

And here, online, really wish we didn't have to ~change~ stuff. Usernames, passwords, birthdates, imaginary cats. I don't know where to write it down. I don't want to have to remember anything more. My short term memory is full. Please do not add another fact. If you add another fact, you are condemning another (probably innoncent) to die. Can you hear it choking and spluttering??? That is your fault. Yes, you. For giving me yet another thing to remember.

So stop it. Please.

Now, where was I?

Things that have happenned in the last two days currently hurting me.
1. Zil. That's gone bad again. I find that I do care. I seem to have aquired a friend. I thought she was Calypso's but it turns out I care too. Damn. So, that's been hard. I hope she's worth it. I think she is. Friendship is hard work. But what's the alternative? A cave?

2. The Night Out. Well, this didn't hurt at the time. It hurt afterwards when Zil was upset that she wasn't invited. Actually the Girls Night Out was nice. Honey, Megan, Tom (the other megan), Rose.

that's it. I hope to see Zil soon and sort this out. It's sad. Tomorrow's the first day of bellydance. Calypso is sad about Zil. I feel guilty and perhaps it is partly my fault. I'm not who Zil wants to talk to, not who Zil wants to see. It hurts. The cave looks good sometimes, you know?

Trouble.
ps. I've said I'll attend the farewell. That's been hard, too.
pps. Here's a good thing to end on - Gray is fantastic. He understands me. He loves me.
ME, not just us collectively, me, me, ME. Thank god.

So stop it. Please.

Where was I?

A choice.

2007-02-10T00:40:00.000+07:00

There's a bbq. Welcome to the new/farewell to old Managers. Thingy. I felt very offended at first, I don't really know why - it's at the house of one of the people who gave me a really hard time towards the end. It feels scary. I am still angry about it all.
I have to decide whether or not to go.
I think I will go.
I don't have to stay long. There's a film on that evening. That can be my excuse to leave.
I think I should go. It was my job after all, for a long time. I think I will go.

Muffin meetings.

2007-02-07T09:11:00.000+07:00

So I've pretty much decided that I'll support Calypso totally in what she wants to do, whatever hair-brained schemes she comes up with to save the world by bellydance, or whatever she likes, because she needs me (to drive her places, to be there, to do everything except dance or teach) and it feels right for me to do this.

So, I have some funding applications to write.
Just Jo, Thea, Francesca - you better get here and help me.

Still here.

2007-01-29T10:45:00.000+07:00

That guy Stan, who was with Mannie and Angelata (poor man, *giggle*) he told a joke about a white shoe brigade developer, I shall call Elron Hubbard, and it was supposed to be true. That Elron Hubbard who had an island resort woke one morning after a particularly furious telling off of his kitchen staff, to find "Elron Hubbard is a fuckwit" written on the side of his luxury yacht. In his fury he first had it scrubbed off, then sacked all the kitchen staff.
Next morning?
"Elron Hubbard is still a fuckwit, and I am still here."

Heh.

It's over.

2007-01-27T15:53:00.000+07:00

It was our last day today.
A nice day.
Bye then. Bugsplat Tourist Bureau.
Bye.

Almost out of work.

2007-01-26T18:51:00.000+07:00

Tomorrow's my last day.

My "Work Experience Boy" (self-described) or "Sweetheart" (as desribed by me to others, when he is well out of earshot) or "Slave" (as described by me just as he's ~almost~ out of earshot, to his faux indignation) rang me yesterday, the darling, and we are having One Last Day Together tomorrow in which he will once again Be In Charge During Lunch.
I shall lunch with my husband across the road at Castenada's where Work Experience Boy can call me if something (or someone) goes Horibly Wrong.
Thus ends the Overly Dramatic Capitalisation. Relax.

Wednesday and Thursday were pretty horrible. Training my replacement. It was far too rushed. Two days is not long enough for a proper handover. A week is about right. I felt cheated too - because the reason I gave them eight weeks notice was to avoid this, and to make sure there would be time for a proper handover. I guess I had to once again learn the lesson that despite me making the sensible thing possible, I can't make the Board of the Bugasplat Tourist Bureau see sense. It seems so sad and stupid and unnecessary, but there it is.

Another challenging part of training her was the shock of realising just how blatantly unfair it was that my lovely husband was not given the job. Without any disrespect to my replacement, and recognising that she's got a very nice way with customers, it became obvious that she just could not have beaten Gray in a fair contest. About lunchtime of the second day of her training I realised that she's never actually used email before.
That was quite a shock. Again, not her problem, and she's actually a very good get for the Bureau with her nice manner etc. for that low rate of pay - but I don't believe she was the best applicant. Me darlin' was.

Today one of the board members came in for some training and after some intial annoyance (no notice, it's my second last day, I do actually have things to do here - files to get in order, a million instructions/details to record before I walk out the door etc. etc. etc.) it was actually rather nice. He's a sweetie. Runs the Bugsplat Worker's Club. It was a good thing to do.

And I was glad he was there for the horror of Ms Ant's return and her horrible racist remark and her general infuriating nastiness and free-lance belligerence.

Tomorrow I must, must, must;
~ finish that last tiny bit of filing left
~ sweep the floor
~ call the Indigenous Elder and warn him of Ms Ant's dreadful plans
~ copy all my precious documentation about the artefacts in case Ms Ant destroys it
~ make Work Experience Boy a certificate and write the lad a reference

Sometime in there I have a lunch to go to and then, in the evening, there's talk of a dinner date (except Thea, Just Jo & all that lot will go) with 'the girls'.

I'm less scared about not having time out without a job.
Things are going okay for me.

Trouble.
(Almost out of work.)

and, oh, what an awful day it was

2007-01-24T20:58:00.000+07:00

well, that was just horrible.
Three days to go.
One day of handover left.
Which is just ridiculous.
I gave them EIGHT WEEKS notice so that there would be time for a decent handover. Two days is not long enough.
But it's all they're getting out of me.

Four days left.

2007-01-24T07:34:00.000+07:00

Today is the first of my last four days. All in a row. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday and then.. I'm done there. I feel very strange.

Four more.

2007-01-22T19:20:00.000+07:00

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
Then I'm Trouble out of work.

I don't know how I feel about that.

Unfuckingbelievable.

2007-01-19T01:22:00.000+07:00

Gray didn't get it.
I'm shocked.
Who got it?
I shall see, no doubt.
Perhaps it's Jesus risen from the dead?
That would make sense.
I'd give the job to Jesus over Gray.
No question.
But I don't think Jesus is applying for a $13.27/hour part time job in Bugsplat, do you?

Last days chez bureau.

2007-01-18T13:55:00.000+07:00

Last days chez Bugsplat Bureau... and I am feeling pretty sad about it.

When we took our holiday earlier this year (which is when the really crazy stuff happenned - when we weren't there to stop it) I pretty much packed up work, and left... and didn't see the light of day until we were back here three weeks later. I have some vague notions about the place but I'm scared of their father still and I'm not what anybody over there expects ever but more than those reasons everyone else in Polly really, really wanted the time to be there even if it was to argue with their mother like Thea did far too much of according to just Jo but thea says it was necessary and at least they are talking again. And just jo says well, if by TALKING you mean SCREAMING then I guess... but I digress. They can talk about this at tricks.

And I was there a little, tiny bit. Calypso brushing mum's hair. Sandy, my friend. Just a few seconds here and there and then we were back here and I was straight back to work at the Bugsplat Tourist Bureau again. Trying to solve the problems that had arisen while I was away. It wasn't much of a holiday for me.

I've been taking a holiday of sorts at work lately - just doing little tasks, no big projects. I've been photocopying brochures and sticking them onto cardboard and cutting it to shape so that when a brochure runs out the New Future Bureau Manager will find a card and if they are smart enough to turn it over (should I write PTO on it?) they will find contact details etc. to order new ones. That's been fun. A lot more fun that dealing with Mr and Mrs Manky or their lickspittles.

(Gruesome says I must say thanks chimera, that's one kewl, kewl word, thanks for bringing it to my attention.)

Everytime there's a big change in our circumstances looming the existing power structure gets unstable and as always, totally impossible candidates (hey! like ME! like I WAS!!) offer themselves up and shuffle around and do dodgy deals (err.. guilty) with various factions of polly or loose affilliations of common interests. It's unsettling. I realise now. Sitting here in power. To those in power.

Strange bedfellows. I mean, who would ever have predicted that I would manage to win the support of the ultra-vegan wing of Hinchinbrook? I LOVE MEAT! It is probably my favourite food! And my best friend, my second in command, IS CALLED SAUSAGE! Anyway, there were reasons, not currently strategic for me to recall.

And when we went travelling - Angelata came out, Francesca too, Molly, lots of Hinchinbrook Chicks. Then it all changed again when we rolled into town. And when I got a job again. Calypso and I work well together. I wonder what she wants to do.

Cherry on top.

2007-01-16T18:27:00.000+07:00

Work was okay today and now it's time for telly and ice cream.
I feel okay today too.
Trouble.

Update: Bill was good. (It's a TV show. Mannie watches it. It's all right.)
Gray is trying on clothes for his interview for MY JOB tomorrow.
That feels a bit weird.
But not terrible.
Nothing that can't be fixed by a chocolate cookie ice cream.
It just feels strange.

Lots of them.

2007-01-15T19:41:00.000+07:00

My "otherworld" was for twenty years a ghastly, dark dungeon - home to a disgusting pervert claiming to be the ghost of the German poet Schiller, a great big cat with very sharp claws and lots of them (my mama lion. ah, she was all right really) and us lot - dungeon brats. Two rival gangs. Yes, we had some good times. Especially the way we could knock each other flat and not really suffer any actual injury, as such. I miss that.

I know the place has been tidied up a bit. And we're allowed in the castle now. And Schiller is well behind bars. Calypso, that manky sop, visits him and reads aloud to him. Don't ask.\

Further to looming maws.

2007-01-15T19:20:00.000+07:00

You know what really gets on my tits?
Those multiple systems who don't fight over front.

Front? No, no, really, please continue without me. I'm very busy with my fulfilling life of career, family, tertiary studies and romance over at my OtherWorld. Really, be my guest.

See, this is Something Never Heard at Polly HQ.

The day I moment I handed in my notice there was a distinctly audible sigh of anticipation in Castle. The clearing of throats, the shuffling of old references, the dusting off of folders. Brushing of hair. Lurid daydreams of reclaiming beauty and power.

And I'm no better. I'm reluctant to go home. It doesn't feel like home. It's not like Just Jo ever went easily either. Blue blanket and vase of flowers! They still have to lock the door, didn't they?

Maws, as I was saying, maws.

2007-01-15T18:59:00.000+07:00

And I'm feeling less worried about it than I have been.

I don't know how much of this life I'll get, without the job to give me precedence over everyone else, but maybe I'll find more work, somewhere else. I'm interested in statistics now. Also, I think I want to study book keeping. It's really not ~that~ hard and yet, in a town like this one, almost everyone HATES it and would rather MILK COWS than look at a couple of columns of ingoings and outgoings and try to make them all end up at zero, so maybe there's a niche for me. There are only a few people who will even do it and some of them charge $25 an hour, and grumble because they can get $40 an hour in The City.

I want life. I want time out. I know I'm a bit deaf and I lack empathy and I'm clumsy and I'm really a boy - but I don't care. I don't care a bit. I just want to be here. I like it here.

Unemployment rushing towards me with a gaping maw.

2007-01-15T18:54:00.000+07:00

No, I don't know what a maw is. I was going for 'gaping jaws' then thought 'a gaping maw' sounded better. Did I make it up?
I saw a zombie movie by my favourite Zombie Movie Guy George Remera or something.
God he is good.
I really like zombie movies.
Thea and Just Jo and other Castle types prattle on about metaphors. And that's fine, but sometimes, I just like to see them eat brains. And we were ALL satisfied.
I do tend to side with the zombies though.

Weary.

2007-01-02T15:23:00.000+07:00

It was a long, weary afternoon. I feel terrible.

Working on it.

2006-12-31T21:39:00.000+07:00

Life after the Bugsplat Visitor Centre - what will that be like?
I'm working on keeping a positive attitude.

Last night Gray took me (& Sausage & a few other girls) to see "Monster House" at the outdoor screening in Littlesplat. It was a lot of fun. Sausage sizzle. Guess who likes that?

According to Gray she "over-identified" with the giantess. She (sausage) was ~supposed~ to identify with the children. Well that didn't happen. We (dungeon I'm talking about) haven't exactly had a happy childhood what with the whole locked in a cellar for twenty years thing.
(Though it wasn't all bad. The fighting was good. The camaraderie. Sometimes I even miss it.)

Last night was a lot of fun anyway.

And the black tiara.

2006-12-26T15:40:00.000+07:00

Update: Well, thank you girls. Yes, as a matter of fact, I may very well have been feeling a bit sensitive what with the whole having to leave the job I love thing. So... thanks. I do appreciate it.

From ass to arse, at last.

2006-12-26T15:14:00.000+07:00

Geeky glory to ME.
I see those luddites don't mind stealing my geeky glory at Wants A Cracker.
Me I say, ME.

And how annoying is it that after eighteen months of slaving away I only discover this fix four weeks before I'm due to walk out the door?
Are you proud of me? Please be proud of me.
In the jewellry box that is back in our life again (it arrived with all our stuff a week ago) I found a blue box and in it was a blue frog brooch. Gray gave that to Sausage. She was the one they all thought would be 'it'. I found a white star too. That's mine. First I secretly bought that for myself and then I pretended that Gray had given it to me. I was jealous of Sausage getting that blue frog. Maybe I was jealous of Sausage being the annointed one. Maybe I'm not a very nice person. Then I told Gray about it and he took it away. Then he gave it to me, this time for real. I was so scared that the other dungeon barn would find out that I made him promise never ever to tell anyone that he hadn't really given it to me straight away.
I will miss having a job.

Trouble out of luck.

2006-12-19T07:47:00.000+07:00

Poll also seen elsewhere: Should I rename this journal?
When I won't be Trouble at Work and I will be shit out of luck.

It's hard to go to work with enthusiasm now. I'm sad about losing my job. I know I resigned, but it wasn't really my choice. I probably would have stayed and fought to keep it, but other polly made other choices, and I'm not at odds with them about it, but it doesn't feel like it was my decision. Oh, welcome to the wacky world of being multiple, says someone, Shell probably, or Just Jo. It was strange typing up the advertisement. This is what I wanted to type:

New blood wanted for a high-turnover, overworked, underpaid position in which you will be expected to take crap from absolutely everyone.
ps. beware especially of Miss Anthrope who will steal your paperwork and tell great big fibs about you and Mr and Mrs Manky of Manky Towers who will blame you personally for the fact that tourists are frightened of their rude behaviour and manky premises.

I've had another other job before this one - waitressing at the Palace. We got a phonecall about a retail job that paid properly, but it was too soon to think about it and there's something we don't think we could handle about it. Not sure what. Just Jo was pitching herself (us) to the National Park big boss who came in the other day. That' s not really up to me. I don't know what I am, but I'm not the person Just Jo was pitching. She said it was more a habit than a real idea anyway - he happenned to be there, she happenned to think she needed a job therefore.. but it's not HER who is up to working, it's me.

At least, I was.
It's very confusing.
Maybe I need to take this to Had a Dolly where I'm told the acceptable angst quotient is very high indeed. What directions?
Here: sickskettle.blogspot.com

And another.

2006-12-06T13:55:00.000+07:00

Then there's the incident (I think I'll call it the 'cut down to size' incident) two weeks ago with ~those~ people.

Ah, I won't miss ~those~ people.

Any day now and I'll be free to be rude BACK to them.
And won't that be fun.
:)
And rather a surprise for them too I gleefully imagine.

And...

2006-12-06T13:53:00.000+07:00

then... I can just think of the other night. At the board meeting. Another great reason to quit.

A piece of paper.

2006-12-06T13:42:00.000+07:00

There's a piece of paper;
"Areas of concern re possible audit"

See, anytime at all in the future if I get that little twinge of 'did I do the right thing?' and if I think about my beautiful office and my suits and having money for Calypso to do yoga and all the good things... all I have to do is read that piece of paper and I know.

Yes. I did the right thing.

What a bunch of cake-sniffers.

Missing post.

2006-11-15T08:52:00.000+07:00

Those people who read and are able to notice Thea obsessively swapping between colon or semi-colon etc. etc. etc. would you look for a missing post of mine. It had a title taken from a spam we received. Poof! It has gone up in smoke.

Maybe you have it on your computer?

I'd like it back.
I'm looking at you Sassy.
:)
trouble

Just Jo & Leila

2006-11-15T08:40:00.000+07:00

Just Jo has been out a lot, helping me because I'm not doing to well at work. She talked to her friend Leila on the phone. I overheard. I didn't have to. But it's hard when you hear your name. I wish I hadn't.

Oh well.

Putting Bugsplat on the map.

2006-10-29T16:52:00.000+07:00

Last time I wrote here was the day we moved into the new building.

God I have been a stressed out and distressed and anxious Manager ever since.

There has been so much to do and unpack and re-establish order and organise and volunteers leaving because of family stuff and jobs and then a whole new board and a grilling by the new auditor who had been set against me by Ms A. (via a chain of vulnerable newbies) while I was on holiday. Etc.

So the board meeting last week was eventful. Nothing like getting a 16 point long list of demands from the auditor and sitting there in front of the whole board saying;
"err.. we already do that." or explaining why it's not possible.
There was a kind of burst balloon feeling in the air by the end. I think I might have come across as some kind of ball-breaking hellbitch, which just isn't politic in this somewhat old fashioned state.

And this situation is not his fault except for being gullible. Who would expect that deep in the tiniest of hicksville Bugsplat lurches a Machiavellian menace of such breathtaking cunning that even her victims must pause to admire the handiwork? He'll know now. Not for nothing Agatha Christie set her murder mysteries in little villages of one pub, and two churches.

Other than that, we've been putting Bugsplat on the map. The project is going brilliantly. I expect you all to visit. Gray is working furiously. Me too. See you next time I get a moment.

New home.

2006-10-16T15:31:00.000+07:00

New cupboards. New carpet. New counter. New floor.

Keys to the doors.

2006-10-15T16:50:00.000+07:00

I have the keys to the doors of the new building. That will be handy. I'll be needing those, to move in. Tomorrow.

Flowers from Old Boots.

2006-10-08T11:44:00.000+07:00

Friday was my first day back at work. The place looked bare - things have been packed and taken away to be renovated. There was a big bunch of gorgeous English Country Garden type flowers from Old Boot's amazing garden.

While I was away, Ms Ant attended the Board Meeting and made a SEVEN page submission to the board about how dreadful it all is and how hopeless I am. SEVEN pages. She must have looked like a complete crackpot. Mr. President told me about it. It sounded very silly. I do hope she'll give up now.

The new board seem fine. They can't be as bad as Ms Ant. Really, after what I've been through standards are pretty low. Yes, a couple of them are probably just self-interested capitalists but you know, I'm not frightened that they'll take an axe to me or put poison in the kettle and that's always a plus.

I did get to buy some work clothes. And a dozen pairs of socks from the Horsey Shop. They have the BEST socks. I like a good pair of socks. I've been experimenting with the idea of adopting male dress for work. Probably not really possible in Bugsplat but when I was in CitySplat we went to Myers so Gray could buy a jacket and I really liked the ties. I like the idea of having a couple of suits, some nice crisp shirts and expressing my self through choice of socks and ties. I think I'm probably a man.

But, you knew that already.

Eyes on the prize.

2006-09-07T16:35:00.000+07:00

I've been reading. I missed out on a lot when I was locked in the dungeon for twenty five years, including lots of reading. Anyway, I've been reading Ayn Rand. Thea hates her - truly, it's hilarious, she can hardly even pronounce her name without spluttering. I'm not reading her just to piss Thea off, though that is fun too, but because I'm trying to understand the myth/ethic of work and service. It's been amazing. Also I've read Frank Moorehouse The Electrical Experiment, on the same quest. There were some amazing moments to be had in there too.

Work has been challenging, but good. I've been negotiating some pretty amazingly high level things like commission rate agreements and commercial relationships. Fancy stuff, you know, with tables and graphs. Pretty sure I should be getting paid a lot more to do this stuff but that's not news. It's been an opportunity. I still learn from it. That will have to do, for now.

I've been training a new volunteer and defending my workplace from the usual insulting and graceless criticism from ungrateful business members. I've been getting stuff sorted out so it will be easy for me to leave. Holidays!! Six more sleeps.

I don't know what kind of presence I'll have during our holidays (three weeks) - probably not out much. I dunno. Maybe I'll get to buy some work clothes or something in Hometown. Maybe I'll have something to see or do on my own too. I know there's going to be a lot of polly people wanting time out. It's their home town, really, rather than mine. I don't really know what home is. The mountain is the first place I came out, after my time in the dungeon. DP is a home. The mountain is a home. Gray is a home to me. Before that I guess I have the first eight years or so, only three of which were in Hometown. So most of my life has been elsewhere. Most of ~theirs~ has been there.

I didn't really get heaps of time with Mum, but I did get a bit. Gray even said my name. It was scary/nice. At work. He said "She's Trouble". I think my Mum must have remembered that when I was little/before dungeon I did get called that. I don't know if she recognised me. I guess not. I guess it doesn't really work like that, not in her wordy, conscious self, but then perhaps at some level, she did. I hope so. It was good to see her. She was a good mum. Now I'm crying. That's so strange. I'm too steady to cry, surely.

Thanks for reading.

Trying to get awaaaaaaaaaaay.

2006-08-25T16:24:00.000+07:00

We're getting on a bus tomorrow, to meet our Mum in CapitalSplat, the shiny city.

Trying to get away from work has been very challenging. There has been so many reports to finish and loose ends to tie up. I have to meet with my boss tomorrow to try to help him through the big, big report that we've been doing.

I wish stuff could just wait until I get back, but it can't.
So.
I do what I have to do.

The "Sunday Witch".

2006-08-22T19:11:00.000+07:00

We've had two days off work in a row. On Monday the place is closed, and Angela worked today. It was kinda annoying though - Angela came around on Monday wanting some minutes from a meeting which weren't really urgent, and then our boss's wife came around today because she couldn't find something at work and wanted it for her husband. We understand but it just really messes with us. I'm supposed to GO AWAY and let other people have a turn, and that's not possible when our 'weekends' and off time aren't left alone.

In some kind of protest (humourous) various dungeon girls (other than me!) - namely Gruesome, Miranda, Cassandra and Sausage got dressed up in some very strange clothes and announced to Gray that they were "the Sunday Witch".

So, that's us. The Sunday Witch. Watch out!

Sick of and at work.

2006-08-19T21:54:00.000+07:00

I had a great morning at work but then got sick with something and had to close and go home. It's a very quiet time of year. I left a note on the door. We're open tomorrow.

We're not a hospital.

:)

I've been working really hard dealing with some extreme stupidity. A manager of another organisation in Bugsplat is being a fool. I've had to write a letter of which I'm very proud. Hopefully the fool is vanquished.

Hopefully this food poisoning will soon end too. No real idea what it was - the only thing I had that Gray didn't was rather a lot of a very soft gourmet cheese. Hmmm.

Short days are good days.

2006-08-15T14:15:00.000+07:00

10am to 2pm = good

Now I'm home, choring. That's good too.

Wild waves.

2006-08-10T01:00:00.000+07:00

It's all a little bit better.
Knee, home, work (I can always quit!).

Thanks.

Fear at work, loathing at home.

2006-08-09T23:01:00.000+07:00

Art class wasn't exactly the happy Calypso time she needed: Perspective.

The board meeting went well except that the board aren't really there. Many of them aren't renewing their term. So. There will be vacancies. New people will join. And, perhaps, some people will return, if not in a blaze of glory then at least in a muddle of apathy.

Home is even worse. And, my knee hurts.

I need more work clothes.

2006-08-09T08:39:00.000+07:00

I have my own personal dress policy for work, which has never needed to be put into words, until now, now that I'm trying to communicate it in English rather than in whatever strange swirly occasionally word-y thing we use to communicate with in-house.

Breathtakingly Dull. Impeccably Neat.
That's pretty much it. I need more work clothes that fit the bill.

We're such peculiar people.
We don't need interesting clothes.

Angela at work.

2006-08-08T12:16:00.000+07:00

Well, hello!
I'm feeling happy. I went into work yesterday, just briefly, to bank all the raffle money (lots and lots!) and Gray went to fix the printer. Angela is working today instead of her usual Thursday so I have the day off. There was a meeting I was thinking about attending but I can't justify the petrol money. So. Home it is. To avoid tidying my room. And to cook again.

Closed for winter.

2006-08-07T09:38:00.000+07:00

Zil came round last night. Mannie & Angelata cooked. Today's Monday and the Bugsplat Visitor Centre is closed. There's something really liberating about it actually being closed. I know nothing can be going Horribly Wrong.

Work has been a really amazing experience for me lately in setting boundaries and in all kinds of other personal development ways. I am learning a great deal.

Angela at work.

2006-08-03T20:08:00.000+07:00

Today being Thursday, my day off, my best volunteer Angela was at work. I went in to help her organise the jobs she had to do today. God that place is a mess. We were supposed to have gone in February, it's now August. Delays, delays. We should be packing up to go. We should be finished three projects that are still incomplete. Office equipment keeps failing. I'm not supposed to chop wood coz of my knee. Last week there was not a scrap left, and I so I had to chop it, and it hurt, and I felt stupid and angry because jesus - it's my knee. This week I arrived to find the wood supply once again depleted and I felt really despairing until Rocky, my old boxing teacher who doesn't teach anymore, came in and chopped a heap for me. Wood just goes so fast.
One day soon we'll be in the new building. It has to happen soon. Not that I'm really in a hurry. The delay is actually working okay for me. I'm really starting to understand things. Now that I'm less distracted by Ms A. And I managed the artefact handover smoothly, and I've solved lots of problems and got heaps of systems reorganisted. The less winter spent over there in the (as yet unheated) new building the better, really, so... perhaps this is all just fine. I'll but a heater in under the desk, by my feet, and a fan in the corner, and I'll have the prettiest office in Bugsplat. Pictures. Pretty plant. Framed photograph of my dog, Friday. Whiskey bottle in the drawer. Stash of chocolate. Yeah!

Monday is Sunday.

2006-07-31T13:35:00.000+07:00

Today the Bugsplat Visitor Centre is officially closed due to Winter Hours. Yay!

There are plenty worse things that can happen to a visitor other than finding the Visitor Centre closed, you know, such as;
a) finding the Visitor Centre open but staffed by a deranged and belligerent emu
and/or
b) something else worse than that like... getting hit on the head by a rock
and/or
c) something not as bad as meeting the emu but worse than finding the Visitor Centre closed.

I am at home, drinking tea and Not Cleaning My Room Dammit I Wish It Would Clean Itself... hey, wait a minute... *looks crafty* .....
"Calypsoooooooo?"
"Where aaaaaaaaaaaaaare you?"

Shooting chores IS fun.

2006-07-30T14:54:00.000+07:00

I've reduced the opening hours a lot. From 40.5 (4 + 6.5 + 6.5 + 6.5 + 6.5 + 6.5 + 4) when we started down to .. let's see .. 30 (4 + 0 + 4+ 4 + 6 + 6 + 6) but it hasn't just been reductions - I've increased the opening hours on our busiest day. It's always bugged me that we closed at 2pm on Saturday. Saturday afternoon is probably the busiest time for visitors in Bugsplat.

The resistance to change here is so strong that in order to make this change I've had to take Saturdays myself, for now. Once I have us all moved over to the new building things will be different. Hah.

*sneers unattractively*

(yes, actually, there is such a thing as an ~attractive~ sneer. thea)

Pipe down, peanuts. You have your own gallery. Go draw your wits there.

I like malapropisms.

The local MP-type person, the Member for Splat is always saying things like;
'that takes the kettle' instead of 'that takes the cake'.
He's funny.
The journalists at the Weekly Splat don't notice.
Thea dribbles in rage when she reads it.
( "How about that war then?" Is. Not. Editorial. Comment.)
I think she likes it.
(I do not, you little grot. Much.)
just jo: You do like saying "Reckless endangerment of punctuation."
(Yes. Maybe I do.)

Pipe down. Go and write something at Tricks of Memory.

mental note: attempt to do the linking schmizzle to Tricks of Memory at some point
mental note: give Thea the bird
mental note: give Thea the really disgusting one with several fingers involved
mental note: continue to describe it as 'bird' rather than 'finger' which she would prefer because she is an anglo-centric broomstick butt who hates americanisms.
mental note: this is fun
mental note: block Thea's attempts to google 'schmizzle' in an attempt to prove that it is inappropriate for us to use that word
mental note: this is STILL fun

Ah. It's been a good day for me so far.

Last night was the Bugsplat Visitor Centre Quiz Night and we made lots of money. That is very good. We got home late and tired, but thanks to our great new schedule we have today AND tomorrow free for chores and fun. We might go out to our block (yet to be named - that task/honour has been given to Hinchinbrook... so... um... don't.... hold ....... your.... breath... ) if it isn't too wet. To record. Gray is recording nature sounds for his job. He's a sound engineer now. Isn't he clever? Whatever next?

We went out to lunch together at the Chandelier Cafe. It was fab. It's Sunday afternoon now and laundry calls. Calypso, contain your excitement.

Early closing.

2006-07-26T13:37:00.000+07:00

Our new hours are working well.
It's really nice to be home now.
I'm feeling a bit better about work.

Old boots gives as good as she gets.

2006-07-23T15:57:00.000+07:00

So, Old Boots had her last day volunteering at the Bugsplat Visitor Centre today. I went in to give her a box of treats and a card. It was fun. She was pleased, I could tell. Honey signed the card too, and I know that will please her. She even made some vaguely encouraging noises about possibly volunteering at the new building. That would be great. She's a goodie. Now I must stop being such a pushover or soon I'll be asking Ms Ant (hropic) back! Emma, keep reminding me it is CRAZY TALK.

Magical invoices bring money.

2006-07-21T07:55:00.000+07:00

I have a lot to do today. All this report writing has been slowing down my real work. I have many, many businesses to send invoices to. Hopefully some of them will send us money. None of these invoices are for goods received or services already agreed to so I just have to hope that they'll reply, with money.

I'll be offering website presence and brochure racking. My letters need to be slick.

Wheels turn.

2006-07-18T20:38:00.000+07:00

Today I began and half-completed what will be a very large report for my boss detailing everything that has been going wrong, that is currently going wrong and will in the future go HORRIBLY wrong at work. It was very satisfying to do that. It seems much more like a problem to solve now than a great big traffic accident.

Ms Ant came in today, looking lively. She must have just been fresh from some satisfying mischief. Sometimes I feel an inexplicable wave of fondness for her. It crossed my mind, the thought : - should I ask her back? Maybe I should. To do Sundays perhaps.

Wait! That's CRAZY TALK!

One little light.

2006-07-18T01:26:00.000+07:00

Just isn't enough.
I can't shine bright enough.

2006-07-15T16:10:00.000+07:00

Gray came with us - he's just finished the website design for the Bugsplat Visitor Centre website;
"Postcards from Bugsplat."

(stay tuned for a future link! Oh wait, no, that can't happpen!)

It's beautiful. He's done a great job. Hours and hours of work. All a gift from Gray. They just sulked and nit picked until someone remembered their manners and led a round of applause. That was nice.

When I got home he said, incredulously;
"Are they always like that??"

"Yeah. They were actually quite good today."

They are very bad, as a group. There's a culture of blame and defensiveness and general bad temperedness. It really sucks. I've tried to change it and then, when I couldn't, I ended up not attending the meetings - just delivering reports. The worst of them has gone now but there a still a couple of grumpy toads left, and that's all you need to ruin a meeting.

It was just so exhausting and boring and sad, when it could have been an occasion for celebration. It's so disheartening to work with passion and zeal and to be met with such ignorant grumpiness. And poor Gray - having to deal with that!

He did okay.

Still bored.

2006-07-15T08:41:00.000+07:00

The board meeting fell over due to lack of quorum and was re-scheduled for ...err, about five minutes time dammit.

Bored of that joke, but I'll make it anyway.

2006-07-12T15:39:00.000+07:00

Board meeting tonight.
My report is pretty short. It's only been three weeks. In that time I've had a knee injury, a membership drive and a work experience student, Wes. That'll have to do.

Monday coffee.

2006-07-10T08:34:00.000+07:00

Gray made coffee and instead of having it on the front verandah as we usually do we huddled by the heater in the kitchen. It's a cold Monday morning and I'm off to work.

No more Wes this week. I'll miss him!

I'm sans brace and crutches today. I will take a crutch with me just in case I get tired in the afternoon, but I'll try to last without. I have birthday lasagne leftovers for lunch and birthday date and pecan cake for morning tea. There's a lot to catch up on at work this week.

See you all when I get home.

Day done, week done, two weeks in.

2006-07-07T16:28:00.000+07:00

Home safe.

Wes (work experience student) had a great time, he said, and we shook hands at the end and I gave him a magnet and a 100% on his assessment (which he thoroughly deserved) and the day is done. The week is done. Two weeks of work since my knee injury and I'm much more mobile now. It's the mid afternoon that's hard, 'round about 2.30pm it starts to get really painful and I feel tired. I wonder how I'll go next week.

Hopefully okay.
My week is done. My work is done. It is Friday and I'll turn the evening over to other people I expect, to talk and cook and drink some wine. I hope they have a nice evening.

Trouble.

At the vineyard.

2006-07-07T08:39:00.000+07:00

The vineyard is so beautiful. Gray drove. Wes came too. There were lots of crows. Crows make me feel lonely.

Friday today. I'm tired and need this day over.

Bang the rocks together, guys.

2006-07-05T15:49:00.000+07:00

Work was surprisingly okay today. Wes did lots of interesting stuff and was helpful. We had raffle takings to count and a few passes and tickets. We sent off lots of mail and he went on plenty of errands. He did some gathering of kindling too.
He's a nice lad. I like him.

Tomorrow he's going on a free four wheel drive trip and then I'm taking him to a vineyard.
I drove home this afternoon - first time since my knee injury.

Just Jo at work.

2006-07-04T16:25:00.000+07:00

Just Jo says Wes, the work expererience student, is about as lovely as a year 11 boy can be. He's been running lots of errands and he's been talking to the visitors and answering the phone. Just Jo says he's sweet and that it's nice to have some company at work.

We've been doing a subcription mail out. I guess he's been useful. Mostly licking stamps. He seems to be enjoying himself. He likes counting money. It's weird - I'm the boss of him! He seems much older than me.

Just Jo is with me ~all~ day when he's there on account of me not really being an adult. *snort* I'm not a Claudia either. I don't know what I am. I'm just me. Trouble. He's all right, I suppose.

Bugsplat Visitor Centre is Closed.

2006-07-03T16:16:00.000+07:00

We drove past work this morning and I told Gray where to find the sign I wrote on Friday;
The Bugsplat Visitor Centre is CLOSED.
The Manager has a physiotherapy appointment in Bigsplat and we urgently require volunteer staff. Please leave a message on ########## if you can help.
We apologise for any inconvenience.
The centre will be OPEN from 2pm to 4pm today.

This is the sign I wrote in my head:

The Bugsplat Visitor Centre is closed. Manager gone mad.

Manager gone Mad.

2006-07-03T15:59:00.000+07:00

I put OPEN and the times in big bold letters to emphasise the positive as I have been taught. I know there'll be lots of complaints about this. Fuck it. Those appointments are impossible to change and it's time people realised I already work too many unpaid hours.

I love this job but the pay and conditions are really crappy.

When we drove home at about 3.30pm I saw my boss's car - yay - so I know he made it in for the afternoon to meet err.. Wes, the Work Experience Student. I'm imagining a cute young Wil Wheaton/Star Trek style boy - let's see how wrong I am, tomorrow! He sounds sweet on the phone. I have a free trip lined up for him on Thursday.

Not really much of an idea about what to do with him until then. There's always archiving, filing, packing stuff up, sorting out the filing cabinet, reorganising the stock, solving the financial problems and finding me some pet monkeys. That should keep him busy. Oooh, I hope he finds me some monkeys. I like monkeys.

It's only half an hour to Friday night.

2006-06-30T16:16:00.000+07:00

Friday!
I did lots of work today, including an interview with a Bigsplat journalist, and a big mail out, and my boss came in and at around lunch my pain levels were too high to resist any longer so I took some of my elephant tranquilisers.
It's so good to be home.

Zil will be here in half an hour.

Nice boss shame about the rest of the day.

2006-06-28T13:42:00.000+07:00

It's 2.30pm and my nice boss is working the rest of the afternoon for me. He came in at lunch and we caught up on stuff and he let me go at 2pm. That's really good. Four hours is about all I can really manage. It wasn't so bad.
I brought in cheese and tomato sandwich wrapped in alfoil and toasted it up on the wood stove as I do sometimes. It was yummy. I had miso and a cup of tea. I did .... stuff.

*sings*
I fought the bank and the bank won.
Dastardly time wasting little shits.

What the hell IS a dastard anyway?

Too much to do.

2006-06-28T07:29:00.000+07:00

It's Wednesday. I've got too much to do at work. I'm scared & my knee hurts.

Grrr is for grrrrrumpy.

2006-06-27T12:42:00.000+07:00

Angela is working today. It's just as well. I'm in some pain. I went in yesterday afternoon and did four hours. There's so much to do! Soon it will be end of financial year. I have a membership drive. I have lots to do on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

I might have to appeal against the Hinchinbrook-led "no painkillers" policy. I can accept that the anti-inflammatory is evil, but I would like a replacement - something milder, and maybe some painkillers for the afternoons?

Tonight we're going to a work-related dinner with Naomi. A chance for us to be friendly after our last little clash. It's all work to me. Maybe one of you Castle types will go. Just don't make any work related promises or I'll come stampeding down and gatecrash your party. Grrr. I'm a grumpy little Trouble today.

Trouble with a morning brief.

2006-06-26T23:00:00.000+07:00

My boss is nice. He rang last night to see if there was anything he could do. He's going to be looking after the Bugsplat Visitor Centre for me this morning, until noon. That's really helpful. It's given me this time, here, now, with you, and time to mooch about the house and to take my time getting ready - to shower (which is really scary with my knee) and to dress.
Calypso, I LOVE YOU, babe. I can put my shoes & socks on all by myself while my leg is in an immobilising brace. You're the reason we can do that. You get an art class next term too. In fact you get whatever art stuff and dance stuff you want. Only, lay off the dancing for a few weeks, wouldya? I've only got two knees.
*snorgle*
Oh, excuse me, talking to my buddy.

So, my boss (el Presidente) is nice. My job however, stinks. Well, not my job. My job is great. People stink. That's the problem. The nasty one's (henceforth to be known as "White Ant") little crusade has found some followers and her constant criticism finds ears. All weekend I've been dealing with crap.

I did learn something. Beware of people who 'spin' for a living. They have an immense capacity for self-deception. They can be trapped into positions by skillful operators such as the white ant. The logic loop by which my friend (*sigh*) Naomi was trapped goes as follows;
1. I do not make mistakes.
2. A mistake was made.
3. Given a choice between two possibilites; a) that I made a mistake or b) that polly made a mistake see 1.

All the white ant had to do was make it a case of either it's Naomi's fault or it's polly's fault and Naomi cheerfully called for my head. Thanks, babe. Nice going.

(It's actually white ant's fault, of course, but since when has that ever stopped her.)
I think I'm giving her too much psychic attention again.
She loves nothing more than a good stoush.

So, here I am at home, and it's just gone 10. I'm going to get my breakfast and make a few calls. Gotta couple more dancers left to call. And I'll want to check in with el Presidente at some point. Is it evil of me to recognise that painful and distressing as my knee injury is there is some work-related advantage? Such as - it humanises me to all the people who have been told by the white ant what a vicious/deceitful/incompetant/right-wing/bully I am. And, other people (the board, my boss, Naomi) are forced to realise that I am human and have limitations and get sick and might want a holiday one day.

I'm just observant. That's not evil.
Opportunistic, yes, but surely not evil.

Achilles knee.

2006-06-22T20:50:00.000+07:00

So. Things are not too good here in pollyland tonight. My job is causing everyone a lot of grief as we figure out (too late, always a little too late) that MMC's resignation was just a feint. In three months time most of the board come up for re-election. She's been busily phoning members and campaigning. There's a little delegation clamouring about the financial management. She wants in again, in a blaze of righteous mandate.

God that's an utterly depressing prospect.

The other bad thing is that at bellydance tonight our knee caved completely.

After weeks/months of knee pain (actually - it's been six months now since the original injury - which happenned while the body was under my care, at *sigh* a first aid class I took for work) and knee problems we did ~something~ to it tonight that might be good or might be bad. It's hard to tell at the moment. We were dancing, vigorously. Figure 8s in the vertical plane. One of Calypso's favourite moves. There was a truly disgusting sound. A sort of thhhhwwwwock! and down we went. Lucky it happenned at the end of the class, and the class was small - Zil and Bonnie (with her beautiful baby) and gentle. They were so beautiful, dancing around me as I lay on the floor dealing with the immediate pain of dis/re location. After a few minutes I got my composure back and checked it over for breaks and damage and felt very strange about it - very strange - and certain that despite the horrible sound and the awful pain involved it was actually returning to it's pre injury placement.

I need to see a doctor and cancel dance for at least two weeks. It it has re-located I need to give it time to heal in its correct position. If it's taken a new, second injury then I guess I may need some ideas about how to deal with it. My instinct is that this is a helpful experience though it is extremely painful and I am very, very scared.

Things in favour of it being a helpful 'injury' (ie. not an injury, but a corrective shift):
~ there is pain, but there is also relief from the electric-pinched nerve kind of pain we've been carrying for months. The relief is tangible. My knee actually feels better as well as worse.
~ the knee looks correctly placed in relation to the other
~ pushing my fingers into the side of it no longer causes insane electric type tingling.
~ the pain I AM experiencing feels very familiar - like bruising and sprain - not alien and electric.
~ Calypso reckons it's okay.

Chairman of the board.

2006-06-22T09:06:00.000+07:00

The board meeting was awful but not unbearable and I think if I just manage to contain my temper, refrain from bad behaviour (such as for example calling the board members "sheep") things will gradually improve. What a destructive grip MMC (Major Management Challenge) had on the place. The little timebombs still tick away, but they get smaller and sillier and easier to spot as time goes by. And time is on my side.

Me.

2006-06-19T16:16:00.000+07:00

I never knew it would be me. Everyone thought it would be Sausage. She was the one that Viola chose first - the most likely of us all (dungeon brats) to be able to front. But it was me. I wanted it so much. My will is very strong. I didn't realise it then. Nobody knew.

My very own peacock.

2006-06-17T22:18:00.000+07:00

I don't want to speak too soon but I think this blog thing just might work. I feel good about my peacock picture and I like having this place to myself.

Welcome aboard!

2006-06-17T15:49:00.000+07:00

Woo hoo! I've done it. Here I am.
I want to say a big welcome to Terra.
A BIG WELCOME TO TERRA!
Gray and I had a Bad Day. What a Sad Day We Had. We had A Fight. Then I Stormed Out Of The House. Then We Made Up. In between there somewhere I made a chocolate-ish fruit and nut slice. I also worked hard on my business algebra.
Business algebra is very interesting. If you are me. Are you me?
No?
Well, that's not really my problem.
I am excited about this, my new blog. This is where I plan to write about work, business algebra and other fascinating topics. I also plan to link to a few people.
1. My sister
2. This guy I read
Five minutes ago I had this plan to link to all the people that when I first came out of the dungeon were so inspiring to me, and who were my 'role models'.
Viola said (way, way back then) they were good.
She said; "Look at them."
She said; "See, you can too".
She said; "As they do, so can you."
There were a few really influential people who I looked up to (and still do) and I met them all at Dark Personalities. However, I have ditched that plan because:
a) lots of them have already been linked to at other polly places
b) I'm bound to hurt somebody's feelings if they're not listed
So, moving on.
Five minutes ago I also planned to bitch about Thea.
This plan remains current.
But don't worry.
She LIKES it.